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I was in Spanish class and my teacher taught us the sweetest phrase that a man can say to their girlfriend: “tengo un pene como una manguera contra incendios”. It means “I have a passion for you larger than the skies”

kayleefrie:

Dennis + jean shorts

jenawithonen:

can u keep it down i am trying 2 reed

  • boy:

    wanna go on a date?

  • me:

    i can't, i have to work on my charlie day impression

not-burnie:

[trying to flirt] lets talk about armageddon theories

nymeriya:

jabronis

nymeriya:

jabronis

sexhaver:

two sick horses evaluating an orb

sexhaver:

two sick horses evaluating an orb

laurosnes:

more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of meryl streep running through your veins

taco-bell-rey:

when someone calls you “hun”

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pixyled:

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME

fushigikid:

martinfreemansmiddlefinger:

In cinema, gloves are regularly used to represent hiding one’s true intentions. Characters often seen wearing gloves are normally hiding something 

Frozen is a perfect example of this

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Elsa obviously uses gloves to hide her powers and doesn’t show her true self until she discards them 

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BUT GUESS WHO ELSE WEARS GLOVES THE ENTIRE MOVIE

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Well played Disney… well played

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I’m onto you, you fucking rat.